


Score

by Ysabetwordsmith



Series: Love Is For Children [37]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: #coulsonlives, Abusive Relationships, Avengers Family, Boundaries, Childhood Trauma, Current environment is supportive, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Complex Response, Emotions, Families of Choice, Family Drama, Family Feels, Gen, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Mental Health Issues, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:17:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9259910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysabetwordsmith/pseuds/Ysabetwordsmith
Summary: Agent Coulson finds Hulk using a scoreboard to tally mental injuries.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [This is my post for Day 7](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/10831068.html) of the 2017 Fandom Snowflake Challenge over on Dreamwidth.

After the absurdly overdone mecha  
had been smashed to scrap and  
the _otaku_ in question firmly advised  
of the inadvisability of mad science,

Agent Coulson found Hulk in a park,  
poking at the wooden board used  
to keep score for various games.

"There you are. People are worried.  
They've been looking for you," he said.  
"Are you ready to go home now?"

"No," came the reply. "Hulk busy."

Evidently Agent Coulson would be  
less use here than Uncle Phil.  
"Okay," he said. "Can I play too?"

"Not _playing,"_ Hulk said. _"Working."_

"Thank you for telling me that,"  
Uncle Phil said. "What are  
you working on there, Hulk?"

"Saw ..." Hulk said, then frowned.  
"Morning email. Slider thing."

"Bruce got a message about slides,  
and you read it over his shoulder?"  
Uncle Phil said. He looked around  
the park, but Hulk was nowhere near  
the cheerful yellow corkscrews.

"Not slides," Hulk corrected.  
"Sliders. Clickers." He flicked  
a little red tab from one end  
of its white line to the other.  
It clacked over the notches.

"Oh!" said Uncle Phil.  
"You mean _counters,_ like on  
this scoreboard. A sliding scale?"

"Uh huh," Hulk said, nodding.

"Okay," said Uncle Phil.  
"What are you counting?"

"Smash," said Hulk. His face  
crumpled. "Hurt. Lost. Scared.  
People hurt us. Bruce hurt Hulk.  
Hulk hurt bad people too.  
Whole life smash."

Suddenly Uncle Phil realized  
where Hulk had gotten the idea.  
Dr. Samson had sent a message  
with a trauma measuring tool  
based on sliding scales.

SHIELD's intranet had gone nuts  
over the thing, enough to require  
some reassignment of bandwidth  
to accommodate the traffic surge.  
JARVIS had sent him a notification.

You didn't work at a secret spy agency  
and _not_ collect some trauma along the way.

"That sounds very sad," Uncle Phil.

Shoulders lifted and fell, like  
jade mountains in an earthquake.  
"Hulk life. Bruce life. Always sad."

"Can you show me on the scoreboard  
what hurts?" Uncle Phil asked gently.

"Uh huh," Hulk said. With slow words,  
he talked through some of the horrors  
that had happened to him and Bruce.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this,"  
Uncle Phil said. "It must be hard for you."

"Hulk job," the green giant said testily.  
"Bruce think, Hulk feel." His forehead  
wrinkled. "Need more tools to fix smash."

"Do you think it might help to talk with  
someone who's good at fixing this kind  
of smash?" Uncle Phil asked him.

"Bruce not like," Hulk said instantly.

"I know, he's skittish about that,  
isn't he?" Uncle Phil said. "But Bruce  
only gets to decide that for himself.  
He doesn't get to shortchange you on  
mental health care if you want some."

Hulk rumbled. "Maybe," he said.  
"Have to think about it."

"That's a good idea," said Uncle Phil.  
"Meanwhile, could you show me more?"

"Uh huh," Hulk said, and went back  
to manipulating the counters with  
a surprisingly delicate touch.

That got Uncle Phil thinking about  
something. "Could I film you for  
a few minutes?" he asked, taking out  
his Starkphone. "I think it would help  
Dr. Samson understand what you're  
doing here, and there are other people  
who might benefit from this technique."

"Not show Bruce?" Hulk said uneasily.

"I won't show him, but that doesn't mean  
that he won't find out," Uncle Phil said.

Hulk gave a slobbery sigh. "Okay camera,"  
he said. "Maybe Bruce see, not smash."

"I hope so too," Uncle Phil said  
as he turned on the camera.

Hulk returned to the scoreboard, where  
he explained some rather complex ideas  
in his simple speech. Thick fingers slid  
the markers back and forth on the lines.

Then Uncle Phil realized that Hulk  
wasn't just using the top row of sliders.  
He was also using the tens-place set.

"What are you doing there?"  
Uncle Phil asked, zooming in  
on that part of the board.

"Counters for _counting,"_ Hulk said,  
rolling his eyes at Uncle Phil.

"You mean you're ... what,  
adding up things in your head,  
and then using the scoreboard  
to keep track?" Uncle Phil said.  
"How is that working for you?"

"Okay," Hulk said. "Same smash,  
same line. This one for bullies.  
Daddy. Bruce. Thunder. Move  
high clicker. Then move low clicker."  
He demonstrated on the scoreboard.  
"This one for ouchy world. Show  
bigger smash and smaller smash."

"That's very impressive,"  
said Uncle Phil. "Can you  
tell me what it means that  
the bully line is so far ahead?"

Hulk spread his big hand and  
dragged the fingers across his chest.  
"Words cut. Over and over. Cuts get  
deeper and deeper, until smash."

"Ouch," said Uncle Phil. He had  
never heard a better description of  
Prolonged Duress Stress Disorder.

"Uh huh," Hulk said. He swept  
his hand over the white lines,  
resetting all the counters to zero.  
"Hulk tired. Go home now?"

"Yes, as soon as you're ready,"  
Uncle Phil said. He switched off  
the camera and pocketed his phone.  
"If you want to change back now,  
I will take care of Bruce for you."

Hulk flopped onto the ground  
and shrank into a sleepy Bruce.

"Wha'happn?" Bruce mumbled.  
"Was robots ... d'I hurt anyone?"

"We contained the robots  
and captured their programmer,"  
Agent Coulson reported. "We were  
just waiting for Hulk to send you back."

"M'here," Bruce said. "I wanna  
go home'n sleep for a week."

"That's a plan," said Agent Coulson.  
He toggled his comm and added,  
"I found Hulk and now have Bruce."

A minute later, Iron Man swooshed  
into the park to carry Bruce home.

Agent Coulson couldn't help  
thinking about the scoreboard  
and the trauma measuring tool and  
what all this could mean for the future.

**Author's Note:**

> [A mecha](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Mecha) is a giant robot. Sometimes they have a pilot, like Iron Man does.
> 
> _[Otaku](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otaku)_ means something like "crazy fan."
> 
> [Hulk's scoreboard looks similar to this](http://www.fahr-industries.com/EMSImage2305-350-350).
> 
> Read an [article about measuring trauma](http://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=441), and [see the sliding scales](http://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/traumaspectrums-finalweb.jpg).
> 
> [Traumatic stress](http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm) can cause a [spectrum of effects](http://www.ptsdupdate.com/growing-spectrum-trauma-related-diagnoses/) ranging from [acute stress reaction](http://patient.info/health/acute-stress-reaction-leaflet) (a normal response that fades after a few days) through [acute stress disorder](http://psychcentral.com/disorders/acute-stress-disorder-symptoms/) (a "stuck" crisis state that lasts up to a month), [PTSD](http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/post-traumatic-stress-disorder.htm) (a "stuck" crisis state lasting more than one month), to [PDSD](https://nobullying.com/pdsd/) (a "stuck" crisis state involving repeated traumatic experiences over time). In this case, Bruce-and-Hulk have PDSD from a life that has sucked in myriad ways. This is fundamentally a failure of processing that happens inside the brain. When the mind cannot file traumatic memories properly, then they don't [integrate into experience](http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/2013/02/13/ptsd-and-integration-the-path-to-healing/), which disrupts the ability to [recognize context](http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2016/10/07/PTSD-may-be-tied-to-disrupted-context-processing/6591475859171/). The events get "stuck" in a [processing loop within the mind](http://releasingthepast.com/fight-flight-freeze/), which turns those memories into [triggers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trauma_trigger) that cause [flashbacks](https://www.verywell.com/what-is-a-flashback-2797360). Fixing this takes a lot of effort, and Bruce has fobbed off most of the work on Hulk. Some new therapies [focus on the body](http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/25/magazine/a-revolutionary-approach-to-treating-ptsd.html) as a way to "unstick" those memories and thus heal the mind. Hulk is using a variation of this by seeking out a physical scoreboard to explore the abstract concepts in the trauma measuring tool. It's working, too.


End file.
